Why is it that every May, Babson spews out into the world some of the biggest losers the earth has ever seen? About a month ago, I parked my car near Webster and started walking across the lot. And what do I see, but a 4-foot-tall kid in a bright green Jaguar hat talking on his cell phone extra loud so everyone can hear what a business aficionado he is. But it doesn’t stop there. Mick Jaguar walks up to his non-Jaguar ride, pauses 6 inches from his driver’s-side door, and presses the remote start on his keychain. Apparently he wanted to save himself that extra twist of the wrist once he got in the car. After all, it is much healthier for the wrist, and besides, it does shave 1/4 second off his start time.

The problem is that everyone at Babson is such a try-hard that it’s impossible to have a good time. Everyone just has to one-up each other everywhere you go. One idiot pops the collar on his magenta polo and then the next has to wear a purple polo on top of his magenta one and pop both collars so we can tell he’s twice as cool. But I can hardly blame the people themselves, it is simply the shitty environment that Babson creates for everyone that is the real problem.

This isn’t to say there aren’t some great people scattered around campus. It’s just that the overwhelming bulk of the people at Babson have their heads up their asses. At least 2/3 of the cars on campus are Audis, BMWs, Mercedes, or some other luxury car. Unbelievably, I have seen more than a few Porches there, too. Honestly, what teen needs a Porsche? But the cars are just a sign of what the people are like on campus. Outside Babson, the BMWs are hot shit, or at least everyone else thinks so, because everyone else is a Honda or a Toyota or a GM. But here at Babson, you’re a BMW surrounded by BMWs so you need to try and pretend that you’re a Porche. But then you’re also surrounded by Porches, so really you need to pretend you’re 2 Porches. How are you supposed to have fun when you’re just trying to be better (or at least as good as) everyone else around you? It’s a constant 1-upping competition. But that’s what Babson values. College is apparently not about enjoying time with friends, partying, and the many other things that normal college students do. Obviously we are bred there to be judged solely on how much ass we can kiss (also known in class as participation grade), and how successful we can at least appear to be in the outside world.

It just baffles me how one school can have such an excellent collection of pompous assholes. It’s funny how our school gets such great marks on quality of teaching, but it’s mediocre at best in terms of job placement. I have to admit if I were the employers, I would think two or three times before hiring any student from Babson. And that’s the moral of this blog is that this school attracts some but produces much more garbage, which it then tries to pass off as actual people. It should start focusing on letting the students enjoy a real college experience. So until next time, I will continue to roll out of bed at 8:10 for my 8:15 classes and show up unshaven with drool still on my face. And I will continue to hate Babson and all its ridiculous try-hards that think the sidewalks are catwalks even at the ass crack of dawn.

This entry was posted on Friday, June 2nd, 2006 at 2:41 am and is filed under Craptain Hook, General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

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7 Comments so far

  1. Crapmaster on June 4th, 2006

    Very well said.

  2. […] AIM to friend Posted in General, Rev. Esby || […]

  3. Fuck You on September 12th, 2008

    Why don’t you spend some of all the time you spend ranting against babson by being productive asshole? By the way, stop deleting my damn comments.

  4. :) on August 4th, 2009

    Can I ask y ur so upset?

  5. carry andena on June 17th, 2010

    Why are you so shallow?
    get a life bud.

  6. RAV on June 12th, 2011

    I am planning to attend Babson this fall.. So are like saying “DONT attend BABSON” ?

  7. if you hated it so much you should have left on August 3rd, 2012

    wow you are just too sensitive about everything. the kids who have luxury stuff in school aren’t rubbing their wealth in your face. they have nice cars because they want to drive nice cars and they can… there are some people who brag about what they have but not everyone. don’t be so insecure

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