Well, it’s May, which can only mean one thing: graduation. Some of us are lucky enough to get out of Babson Park, and yet it’s strangely sentimental. In effect, due to graduation, I guess this is really my last post on the blog, which adds to that sentiment. But I’d like to go out addressing both sides of this bipolar nature of graduation.

Yes, it’s that time of year when some people get all teary-eyed and look back on the fond memories they had of their wonderful college experience. Unfortunately, those people don’t go to Babson, they go to real colleges. So really it’s that time of year when people have to say goodbye to the close friends they’ve made, bring back all of those “remember when…” moments, and at the same time lift a huge weight off their shoulders. That weightless feeling is not a hallucination. It is Babson removing its hands from your shoulders and pulling out of your anus because they have finally finished banging you.

Well, of course they will constantly ask you to pay them donations for the amazing butt sex they just gave you. But you can read more about that in my previous post (“Why You Should Never Donate to Babson”). More importantly, it is that time when you finally get to leave campus and start searching for a really good psychiatrist. After all, you need someone to help you get through the last four years you managed to survive. Some of you may have found a happy place while being raped, but suppressed memories are not healthy. Others may emerge from Babson and not be able to visit other campuses for a while because of the emotional damage done here. Whatever the situation, hopefully your job’s medical insurance covers most of the cost because you’ve spent enough during your time here.

Anyway, for those of you who are still completing the “Babson Experience” or are deciding whether they want such an experience, I thought I would make some final, summarizing thoughts from the other side of the fence.

In my experience, Babson wasn’t worth it, and if I had to do college over again, I would most definitely choose a different option. I came from a graduating class of 79 people in high school, where I was friends with pretty much everyone in my class and most of my school, as well as the faculty, staff, and admins. It was the epitome of what a small school should be like, and represented every reason why a person would prefer a small school to a large one: small class sizes, students aren’t just another number, no bureaucracy, close-knit community, etc. Then I come to Babson, which prides itself on being a small school, and I immediately associated it with the amazing experiences I had in high school. Well, unfortunately, that wasn’t Babson at all. Babson, in a nutshell, is a large school in small school’s clothing.

What do I mean by that? I mean when’s the last time the administration made you feel like you were a living, breathing human being? It rarely happens, if ever. But isn’t that sort of the essence of a community? We’re pretend like we have all these good qualities in our school, and aside from teaching quality we really don’t have any. We’re like that kid you all knew in high school that tried so hard to fit in with all the cool kids that he/she ended up being a total loser. It’s sad. We get so caught up in policies and people that we end up losing sight of the big picture.

I think it may have a lot to do with the administration’s attitude. They take no investment in the students whatsoever. Take, for instance, Dean Reza. The guy is useless. I’ve had to spend an hour in the guy’s office going over my credits and class planning, when it should’ve taken 10 minutes. I wouldn’t have gone except for it was mandatory, and it was irritating to see him fumbling around with such an easy task for so long. But aside from being useless, the guy doesn’t even know people’s names. While listing off people during graduation, he was messing up some of the easiest names and mispronouncing people that most everyone in our class knew. It’s like we just hired him to come in and say names and he had never met any of us or worked with our class for 4 years. It’s embarrassing, and it’s a good example of how our class dean might as well have been with a class of 10,000 instead of 300+.

Yet, it’s also the people we let into the school. For instance, our SAT score is somewhere in the 1200’s usually. Compare that to our other competitors on the business week list. Most have higher than us. Let’s speculate for a minute. We admit about 37% of all applicants each year. That’s pretty selective. Why do we have a low SAT score then? Why don’t we select more smart kids? Well, one answer is maybe they’re just not applying. I find that hard to believe, although it is a possibility. A more likely scenario: rich mommies and daddies. This is much more believable. Follow with me for a second: Mortimer A. Smith, Sr. doesn’t want his mongoloid son Mortimer A. Smith, Jr. going to a lowly state school because it makes Sr. look bad and makes it harder for him to get Jr. a job after he graduates. Far off? Doubtful. It may unearth a correlation between the number of $30,000 cars on campus and the low SAT average. Why does the SAT matter? Well, on the surface it doesn’t. I mean, SAT score doesn’t really make you a better person or not. I merely used it to illustrate that we let in people based on how much money we’re going to get out of it instead of whether they’re actually a good person to admit. It seems like for as much as we promote entrepreneurship, we produce a bunch of robots. I’ll be the first to admit I’m no genius, but it was sickening to see so many people kiss professors’ asses with worthless participation, regurgitate things the professor or other students said, or ask professors what exactly they wanted to see on a paper or in an exam. I think some things you can figure out on your own, but most of the people here need to be programmed. Yeah, we probably produce great workers, but do we produce great leaders? Doubtful. I’d be willing to be 30 or 40 years from now people will look back and find we were more successful producing leaders when we were a party school than when we were an uptight rectum posing as a school.

The same can be said about our diverse-centered mindset? I’m all for diversity, but we do it the wrong way. What I mean is that any student from any race or country or other demographic should still be just another student. It’s great to have a diverse mix of people, but what Babson does is constantly point out the diversity and create an atmosphere that reeks of the fact that they’re only supporting diversity in order to showcase it. Why? Because it makes the school look better to the world. We’re really trying to polish up our global image even though we don’t have a domestic one west of the Hudson. Makes sense. Or maybe it could be the fact that international students get charged more and are not eligible for financial aid (translation: more cash in Babson’s pocket). It’s a slap in the face to people from diverse cultures to feel they were brought here for Babson’s benefit and not their own. In fact, it’s a slap in the face to anyone anywhere for that matter.

Most of the time when I think about these things, I just end up pissed. I was talking about it with someone at a big university the other day, and a point was brought up that similar crap is served at universities all the time. And I thought, that’s right, this stuff probably happens at a lot of places. But those schools have 20,000+ students. They have pubs and real parties and late-night food, and a million other things that we don’t have, which is partly why its students chose a big university in the first place. We come to Babson expecting the benefits of a small-school atmosphere, and instead we get the worst of both the small-school and big-school worlds. So really what it amounts to is disappointment. It’s like when you see an awesome trailer for a movie, and then when you go see the real thing it’s awful and the only good parts were from the trailer. That’s really the bottom line–disappointment. It’s not that we have no hope of making this place better, or that we had zero fun while we were here. It’s that we came in expecting to get prime rib and ended up getting prime rib cut off our own asses. And really, who wants to go to a school that’s a work in progress? Most people get an awesome four years of their lives, often the best four, and love their schools. We have to turn Babson over and shake the crap out of it just to get anywhere, and yet they wonder why we leave here pissed off. At least if they don’t want to change their ways, they could market the school the way it really is so people that come here know what they’re getting. Or else they could just let in kids that study Sunday thru Saturday, don’t go out, don’t get laid, and are easily pleased. I guess then we’d be Olin. But maybe that’s not so bad, I mean I was jealous of their end of the year party with a huge jousting platform, rock climbing wall, and a ton of other cool stuff. But hey, at least we got a has-been band and a “beer garden” that includes a fold-out table, a keg, and some solo cups (which disgraces the term “beer garden” if you have ever been to a real one).

So I guess maybe if I came in with the bar set lower and knew more of what I was getting into, then maybe I would’ve liked it more. Maybe. But then I think, why should that be the case? Why should students have to be dumbed or lamed down in order to enjoy it here? Babson purposely sets the bar so high with its marketing campaign, so shouldn’t they be held to live up to it? I think so. If they’re going to market themselves as being small-school, then they should follow up on that and create an actual small-school atmosphere, should they not? I mean otherwise it’s just a total crap shoot whether you’re going to like it here or not. Maybe it’s easier said than done to fix that kind of thing, but why don’t we use some of that innovative, entrepreneurial spirit we hear so much about? Maybe that’s bullshit too, I don’t know.

In all honesty, though, I realize I am probably way too tough on Babson (and maybe most of the site is, as well, but deservedly so). I mean, they do provide a high teaching quality, and I don’t think any of us have ever really complained about that. And there is a lot I’m going to miss, as well. Ok, maybe not “a lot,” but some things. Mostly, my friends. I walked into Map Hill the other day and went into my suite. It was completely empty. All the stuff we left in the fridge when we moved out, the kitchen stuff, all gone. The detergent we spilled on the floor, MIA. The paint on the walls we messed up from many nights of inviting our friends Jack and Jose over, all re-painted. There was natural light coming through the windows, which I don’t think ever happened while I lived there. Rooms that used to be filled with life, now desolate. Everything was gone, like we never even existed there. Needless to say, it was depressing. In one day, they came in and undid everything we did. And those are the things I’ll miss. The little things. The memories. The things that made that poorly-constructed room into a home. The things that made that piece of crap elevator into a basis for dorm-wide war.

I know I said I would never choose Babson again if I had the choice, and I wouldn’t. But I would definitely have to bring my friends with me. They’re what made tolerable everything at Babson that had no right to be so. For that, I’m forever grateful. So while we continue to crap on Babson, let’s not forget that are many more important things to escape Babson with aside from your money and dignity. When you leave Babson, all the things you hate about it get to stay behind. But all the little things I mentioned, you get to keep those with you forever.

Anyway, like I said, I know I’m normally way too hard on Babson. I can concede that. Nevertheless, most people are way too easy and/or forgiving. So the extreme weight against the school is to help students come out somewhere in the middle I think. Which is fine. You should be making the decisions for yourself. Babson has their extremely good marketing campaign that has brought you to the school in the first place, and we have our site to offset it in the efforts that hopefully you can see both sides and come up with your own opinion, whatever that may be.

I’ve had a great time writing for this site. I think it’s an awesome initiative and will help turn Babson into the place it could potentially be. I appreciate all the feedback and discussions, and even if they haven’t all directly made the school a better place I know they’ve helped get a ton of stress off all of our chests just by venting our frustration with the school. In a way, it’s united us at a place where there aren’t too many reasons to unite. And as those of us that have graduated pass the torch on, I hope that you might also pick it up and make forward progress, in the hopes that this small group of Babson-haters might one day end up as architects.

Craptain Hook out. Yarrr.

Have you been keeping up to date at our sister site?

If not, you may have missed these gems:

April 2007 Reader Emails

Babson In One Day

Map Hill Elevator Saga

do awesome. go to the class of 2008 art show / silent auction in trim.

i know i don’t ask for much, usually just the resignation of poor administrators and a more responsible college, but i’m asking the students today for something. the show’s in trim, in case you don’t have a meal plan and missed the emails in the flood that is babson email. it features the coolest people in the entire school. which is no lie because i calculated it in excel. i’m asking, pleading, getting down on my kneeing, for you to submit some bids for artwork. Read more »

Oh, Babson e-mail, how I fucking loathe you. Yet, I can’t stop compulsively checking you….

Before I go address an e-mail I found this morning in my Babson inbox, I would like to offer a solution to the junk that suffocates all Ugrads. Get First Class. Private schools use it, other colleges use it. You can create conferences and seperate announcements to the entire class that people can choose to view. You can also create conferences that are dedicated to CAB or Academic Services so we don’t get bombarded by Babson’s version of spam.

Stop sending me pointless e-mails, like the one below where you describe a senior send off party with bling and condoms. Your telling me that I worked my fucking ass off and your sending me off with a condom and some fake bling?

I’m am LOLing in class. Thank you, Babson.

—–Original Message—–
Sent: Wed 5/2/2007 9:40 AM
Subject: New York New York

Come get your NYC condoms

And Make-Your-Own Bling!

Who: All Ugrads

What: Senior Send-Off Party

When: Thursday, May 3rd

9 P.M. – Midnight

Where: Knight

Here’s a little financial tip that will help all those who will soon be graduating: never donate your money to Babson. Now, I know a lot of people might be saying, “why would you not want people to donate?” Well, there are several reasons, so bear with me as I hit all of them.

First, donating to Babson is the literal equivalent of donating to your toilet. You wouldn’t take wads of cash out of your wallet and flush it down the toilet, would you? So why would you hand over wads of your money to people who will do just that? It makes no sense at all.

Here’s what $5 does for Babson: nothing. Sure $5 across many people adds up. So maybe we can use that money for a Segue for our new president. Or maybe we can redo the entrances again because it really has been a couple months and they feel left out. Or we could pay the salaries of completely useless people in completely useless positions in the administration. It could go towards any one of a million stupid things around here.

So you say maybe it goes towards helping someone, like that it keeps tuition down. I say where is this discount in tuition, as my debt level from this school is disheartening. Should our tuition really be $60k per year? Because it’s absurd at $45+ already. Sure, maybe that ~$15k is subsidized by donations, but isn’t that just a Band-Aid for a bullet wound? So what does that really solve, then? You’re just contributing to the problem because you’re helping Babson not face the bigger issue, which is that they handle cash worse than my 7-year-old niece.

Which brings me to my next point: you’re not doing Babson any favors. The more money they get, the more they think they are doing things right. You think giving money helps the school in the long run, but it doesn’t. It only makes them hire more idiots and put off firing the ones we already have. It makes them justify wasting money because after all, if they don’t waste it then they won’t have as big of a budget next year.

Here’s a fact: if you donate a little money, they ask for more. If you donate nothing, they ask you why not. Now, if you consider that, which do you think gets more done around here–the administration continuing to throw money in the garbage, or the administration getting feedback on what they need to do in order to EARN your money?

Which brings me to yet another point: Babson should earn your donations. Yeah, they have good teaching quality. You already paid for that with $175+ tuition over 4 years. The sad part is how Babson convinces you to think that $175+ is not enough for the education you received. You have to be kidding me. If you believe that, then I also own this bridge in Brooklyn you might be interested in buying. Not that Babson should take you out for dinner for your donation, but what are they doing for future classes of students that they need direct funding for? Where precisely is your money going? “Athletics” or some other general category doesn’t tell you anything. You could be putting money into “Athletics” and have it go toward new fold-out chairs for PepsiCo. Ask tough questions, and if you don’t get solid answers then you’re wasting your money.

I’d say the worst excuse for donation is that it’s going to help you in the long run. Ok, let’s say we get donations and therefore participation up, which might help bring our ranking up. Then what? It won’t bring it up more than a few spots in the rankings based on participation alone, it’s only a small part of a long equation for calculating rankings. Even if it did, what is that going to be worth by the time you see the benefit of it? After you’ve been in the work force for a while, it doesn’t matter where you got your undergrad. Plus, whether you graduate from here or from Wharton, if you’re graduating with a 2.0 then does it really matter where your school was ranked?

Going along with that, here’s an interesting thing: The last few years, donations from the senior class have been increasing, and yet our ranking has been decreasing. Judging by that trend, we should probably stop donating in order to get the ranking up…well, ok, that’s obviously not a logical deduction, but my point is really just to show that participating to help ourselves is a myth.

Basically, all I’m trying to say is think twice about it. Hell, think three or four times about it. It’s your money. When your parents aren’t paying for everything, every dollar counts. Donating gets you nothing at Babson. They will throw you a barbecue, yippie, as if you don’t deserve it just for surviving here for so long. Notice they never even said “Thank You” for the $175+ you already donated through tuition. You get at least that much when you buy a Snickers at 7-11.

If you want to donate, knock yourself out. It’s your money, you can do whatever you want with it. But if you think for one second that someone out there is benefiting from it, you’re very much mistaken. Actually, you’re not…there are several construction companies that make a killing off our school’s stupidity. But if you think you’re helping the Babson pseudo-community, THEN you’re mistaken.

If you’re not convinced at this point, then I have one last point to make, which is probably the most important of any of the points I’ve made to this point: there are much more deserving organizations out there. At least donate to your high school. Or a charity that helps the poor and needy. Or maybe another organization that will use your dollars to directly help those who need it most because there are a lot of people that worry about what they’re going to eat this week or where they’re going to sleep, and they could use your money a lot more than the company that’s going to build the next flag fountain.

This school is way too caught up in itself to consider the people that surround it and ultimately support it. It’s time you made a stand against that. Donating money only pushes them to continue the same way they have been. Save your money at the very least. Or show them by example that people are what matters, and that you care about others the way they should be caring. Until you do, then the school as a whole will never support the people that support it, and we will continue to have places like crapcampus.com because Babson has no idea what the concept of “community” is. If you want better things for future classes, make Babson earn it, and until they do, then your dollars are much better spent at places that really need your money and will use it to its maximum value.

Anyway, if you’d like, I’m also accepting donations that will go towards a reparations fund for seniors for having to deal with all the garbage Babson puts them through. This way they have some extra money when they graduate to start their lives instead of getting bled dry before they make their first dollar in the real world. Let me know if you’re interested.