That means that you have to tie a tie!

If you don’t know how, or can’t tie a great knot, watch this video on how to tie the perfect tie every time. It’s a video by Tim Ferriss (author of The Four Hour Work Week) and you can read more here.

Now practice that a few times and you should be all set.

1. September 17, 2007

Dear Coleman Residents, 

Over the past few weekends, Coleman Hall has had a significant amount of damage to the building.  Facilities are diligently working to keep the building clean, but due to chronic vandalism we are forced to take further action.  Over the past few weeks there has been broken doors, broken cabinets, vomit on the floor, numerous purposely clogged toilets, and many other incidents of vandalism.  This behavior is not acceptable and needs to stop immediately.  In order to prevent any more damage to the building we will be authorizing Public Safety to do random walkthroughs of the building during peek times on nights and weekends.  This is not our usual approach to patrolling the building, but due to a general lack of respect for the space that you live, we felt it necessary to add supplemental support.  If the vandalism stops and improvements are made, we will reconsider the decision.  We also want to note that the floors responsible for this vandalism will be charged for the broken items and cleaning unless someone is found responsible.  We encourage all of you to take an active role in making Coleman Hall a great place to live.  Take pride in your building and keep it in good order not only for yourselves but future classes as well.  We work very hard to make Babson a great place to live and ask that you respect that by not vandalizing the residence halls.  If you have any further information on these incidents feel free to see your RA or email us with any concerns, questions, or information.  Thank you very much

2. Monday, September 24th

Hey guys,

As most of you are probably aware, we’ve been having some serious issues in Coleman regarding vandalism and just flat out disrespect for the building.

There is trash in the hallways on the weekends and it doesn’t seem to be because of lack of trash cans.

The bathrooms are continually being vandalized. Toilets are being clogged purposefully with beer cans and the showers are being broken.

You are being charged for these damages and will receive a bill at the end of the year. If you’re causing the damages, stop. It’s not fair to those that have to live here. If you see someone doing something that you’ll probably get charged for, stop them. If you are uncomfortable confronting them, let me know and I’ll figure it out.

In regards to food, we have a common kitchen that you are free to use. If you choose to use it, clean up after yourself.

Don’t throw away food in the sink and leave it there, it’s pretty gross and clogs the sinks.

There have been incidents where food and trash have been disposed of in the hallway. That’s disgusting. Walk 3 feet to the nearest trash can. We’re starting to get roaches because of this problem.

The Facilities workers will not pick up your trash barrels in the hallway. If you leave them in the hallway, they will take them and you will get charged for losing your trash barrel.

Check out the pictures I’ve attached and please just treat the building with respect, it’s your home this year. Don’t do anything here that you wouldn’t do in your own house.

Let me know if you have questions or suggestions,
[RA's Name Removed]

 (These 3 are dated 9/10/07)

(The first from the 23rd and the second from the 24th)

My Response

excuse me, but this is a little ridiculous. I personally feel its outrageous that a different hall in coleman gets trashed almost every weeked, and now every resident is paying for it? I sincerely discourage the use of threats of damage fines and would much rather see the RA go around and write up people for things outside their door or infractions during party hours.

The bathrooms though? Why would residents trash the place they need to go to be clean? It really sucks to walk in to a messy problem where it looks like a lot of people thrashed some place, but doesn’t it seem that one coleman resident throwing a party would be a much more logical assumption when trying to accuse someone? I mean, why would we residents want to destroy our own bathing facilities? Honestly, Kevin and Jess, and all the other RA’s, I feel like in times like this you are now warranted to do the check ups on hallways that you are already responsible for. Why? Not to bust the parties up, not to be a babo informant, but to be simply the one who holds residents accountable for their lifestyles here.

If this were a community living dorm, like O-tower last year (which was basically a war zone every weekend), I’d be ok with splitting the damages with my fellow tower-mates. But this is not a tower. I moved out of the that tower so I wouldn’t have to deal with this again. And now, even with Babo and RA’s supposedly making rounds, they haven’t caught anyone responsible for this? I find that very very very hard to believe. And finally, looking at the list of people that received this email, I wonder why the hell are we getting it. Our wing hasn’t even been that bad except for weekends when they forget to grab the extra 30 gal barrels they leave us. I mean, for christs sake, our hall has even been recycling!

In the end, get off our asses and get off of yours and do a better job policing the dirty areas like you said you would. Please, and thank you.

Bryan “Reverend Esby” Steward

PS:  That ain’t no cockroach.  I don’t know about you readers out there, but I personally don’t know many cockroaches that scurry about in broad daylight, let alone pose for flash photography…

Abso-fucking-lutely NOT!

Instead it was more of shock and horror for my fellow final semester senior (December Grads), as when he checked his housing arrangements for his Putney single, he immediately noticed that Babson had paired him up with a roommate! He called me up quite distressed at the thought of spending the last semester of college with a roommate he’s never met and probably won’t get along with. Immediately thinking he may have screwed up, we tried to figure out if there was any way that he meant to click on a different one. After a few hours of pouring over how my friend must have selected a double on accident, we realized that he indeed did select a single based off of what the online floor plan map of putney third floor displays.

So my buddy emails housing and tells them that the screw up is definitely on them and theres no way they are going to put two kids in a single and that there is no way he is going to have a roommate his last semester here.

OCL’s Housing email address responds: We are sorry but we cannot help you with this. Please contact your area director.

Thats it. Thats the end of their email. Now excuse me, and pardon my french, BUT THOSE FUCKING MORONS LOOK LIKE THEY’RE STILL USELESS! I think OCL should be reinterpreted by the students to mean, Off Campus for LIFE. I MEAN THEY DIDN’T EVEN TELL HIM WHO IS HIS NEW AREA DIRECTOR!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK?!

I 100% know that improving student service is a strong concern for some of Babson’s administrators. And I know one of the reasons OCL was restaffed was to hopefully prevent idiots from making mistakes like this and also so if things like this did happen, they’d be quickly caught and repaired before they became an issue.

Dean Hanno, we’ll be meeting soon.

Bryan “Reverend Esby” Steward

PS: I’m really curious how many of these OCL mistakes happen that I don’t hear about. Want your story posted? IM me on AIM, Reverend Esby, and tell me how it is.

It’s the “Best of Craigslist” for Boston.

Check it out for cool items for sale and funny stories that were posted to get the word out.

Take this cat for sale…

Well, I just found the funniest bathroom notice I’ve seen:

Student Masturbation Is Not Allowed in Dorm Showers

Before I go address an e-mail I found this morning in my Babson inbox, I would like to offer a solution to the junk that suffocates all Ugrads. Get First Class. Private schools use it, other colleges use it. You can create conferences and seperate announcements to the entire class that people can choose to view. You can also create conferences that are dedicated to CAB or Academic Services so we don’t get bombarded by Babson’s version of spam.

Stop sending me pointless e-mails, like the one below where you describe a senior send off party with bling and condoms. Your telling me that I worked my fucking ass off and your sending me off with a condom and some fake bling?

I’m am LOLing in class. Thank you, Babson.

—–Original Message—–
Sent: Wed 5/2/2007 9:40 AM
Subject: New York New York

Come get your NYC condoms

And Make-Your-Own Bling!

Who: All Ugrads

What: Senior Send-Off Party

When: Thursday, May 3rd

9 P.M. – Midnight

Where: Knight

First, donating to Babson is the literal equivalent of donating to your toilet. You wouldn’t take wads of cash out of your wallet and flush it down the toilet, would you? So why would you hand over wads of your money to people who will do just that? It makes no sense at all.

Here’s what $5 does for Babson: nothing. Sure $5 across many people adds up. So maybe we can use that money for a Segue for our new president. Or maybe we can redo the entrances again because it really has been a couple months and they feel left out. Or we could pay the salaries of completely useless people in completely useless positions in the administration. It could go towards any one of a million stupid things around here.

So you say maybe it goes towards helping someone, like that it keeps tuition down. I say where is this discount in tuition, as my debt level from this school is disheartening. Should our tuition really be $60k per year? Because it’s absurd at $45+ already. Sure, maybe that ~$15k is subsidized by donations, but isn’t that just a Band-Aid for a bullet wound? So what does that really solve, then? You’re just contributing to the problem because you’re helping Babson not face the bigger issue, which is that they handle cash worse than my 7-year-old niece.

Which brings me to my next point: you’re not doing Babson any favors. The more money they get, the more they think they are doing things right. You think giving money helps the school in the long run, but it doesn’t. It only makes them hire more idiots and put off firing the ones we already have. It makes them justify wasting money because after all, if they don’t waste it then they won’t have as big of a budget next year.

Here’s a fact: if you donate a little money, they ask for more. If you donate nothing, they ask you why not. Now, if you consider that, which do you think gets more done around here–the administration continuing to throw money in the garbage, or the administration getting feedback on what they need to do in order to EARN your money?

Which brings me to yet another point: Babson should earn your donations. Yeah, they have good teaching quality. You already paid for that with $175+ tuition over 4 years. The sad part is how Babson convinces you to think that $175+ is not enough for the education you received. You have to be kidding me. If you believe that, then I also own this bridge in Brooklyn you might be interested in buying. Not that Babson should take you out for dinner for your donation, but what are they doing for future classes of students that they need direct funding for? Where precisely is your money going? “Athletics” or some other general category doesn’t tell you anything. You could be putting money into “Athletics” and have it go toward new fold-out chairs for PepsiCo. Ask tough questions, and if you don’t get solid answers then you’re wasting your money.

I’d say the worst excuse for donation is that it’s going to help you in the long run. Ok, let’s say we get donations and therefore participation up, which might help bring our ranking up. Then what? It won’t bring it up more than a few spots in the rankings based on participation alone, it’s only a small part of a long equation for calculating rankings. Even if it did, what is that going to be worth by the time you see the benefit of it? After you’ve been in the work force for a while, it doesn’t matter where you got your undergrad. Plus, whether you graduate from here or from Wharton, if you’re graduating with a 2.0 then does it really matter where your school was ranked?

Going along with that, here’s an interesting thing: The last few years, donations from the senior class have been increasing, and yet our ranking has been decreasing. Judging by that trend, we should probably stop donating in order to get the ranking up…well, ok, that’s obviously not a logical deduction, but my point is really just to show that participating to help ourselves is a myth.

Basically, all I’m trying to say is think twice about it. Hell, think three or four times about it. It’s your money. When your parents aren’t paying for everything, every dollar counts. Donating gets you nothing at Babson. They will throw you a barbecue, yippie, as if you don’t deserve it just for surviving here for so long. Notice they never even said “Thank You” for the $175+ you already donated through tuition. You get at least that much when you buy a Snickers at 7-11.

If you want to donate, knock yourself out. It’s your money, you can do whatever you want with it. But if you think for one second that someone out there is benefiting from it, you’re very much mistaken. Actually, you’re not…there are several construction companies that make a killing off our school’s stupidity. But if you think you’re helping the Babson pseudo-community, THEN you’re mistaken.

If you’re not convinced at this point, then I have one last point to make, which is probably the most important of any of the points I’ve made to this point: there are much more deserving organizations out there. At least donate to your high school. Or a charity that helps the poor and needy. Or maybe another organization that will use your dollars to directly help those who need it most because there are a lot of people that worry about what they’re going to eat this week or where they’re going to sleep, and they could use your money a lot more than the company that’s going to build the next flag fountain.

This school is way too caught up in itself to consider the people that surround it and ultimately support it. It’s time you made a stand against that. Donating money only pushes them to continue the same way they have been. Save your money at the very least. Or show them by example that people are what matters, and that you care about others the way they should be caring. Until you do, then the school as a whole will never support the people that support it, and we will continue to have places like crapcampus.com because Babson has no idea what the concept of “community” is. If you want better things for future classes, make Babson earn it, and until they do, then your dollars are much better spent at places that really need your money and will use it to its maximum value.

Anyway, if you’d like, I’m also accepting donations that will go towards a reparations fund for seniors for having to deal with all the garbage Babson puts them through. This way they have some extra money when they graduate to start their lives instead of getting bled dry before they make their first dollar in the real world. Let me know if you’re interested.

One thing I’ve been noticing is how many e-mails and/or comments we get that tell us we need to get lives and stop whining. Well, last time I was at the doctor’s office, they took my blood pressure. I saw that it was above zero, which indicated to me that I do, in fact, have a life. So let’s put that baby to bed because after a couple e-mails you start to wonder if you really did wake up from that binger last night.

Now, what the writer(s) probably meant to say was, “get a life that more closely resembles mine.” I figured why not look into it? So I decided to follow a couple of these people around campus all day. Needless to say, it was pretty sad.

I caught up with one girl around lunch time, so I followed her to Trim. While she went inside, I noticed one of the staff members outside scooping up a monster pile of old dog shit behind the dumpster. The staff member proceeded to carry it inside with a big metal spoon. When I got into Trim and saw the girl downstairs, she was waiting in the hot food line. Just as I was approaching the line, none other than the staff member with the spoonful of shit walks in from stage left. Sure enough, the poor girl approached the buffet, and she was rewarded with a top-quality steamer from the staff. Despite gagging on the fumes, she saw the little sign that read “mexican rice,” but dismissed it. After all, if Babson tells you something then why on earth would you ever question it?

With my appetite ruined, I thought I would head over to Map Hill to catch up with our second buddy. I don’t really know who he is, but he lives on the first floor near the entrance. I noticed this guy had some real issues. He was inside sitting down to a nicely-prepared dinner with his girlfriend. The abnormal part came when I noticed his girlfriend apparently never said anything other than the letter “O” and realized she was made of plastic. Meanwhile, two huge guys in orange jumpsuits walked by with big-gulp-sized cups of beer and jailhouse tattoos that said “The elevator must die!” Our friend remained inside enjoying his date. Five minutes later, Map Hill had a freshly broken elevator. Apparently some idiot on the fifth floor though he could be a tough guy and beat up anyone breaking the rules in his hallway, since his throat became the lucky new owner of a whittled-down, sharpened prison toothbrush.

After following these two, I figured I would try one last person. The only problem was that nobody on the entire campus knew who he was, except for one kid that smelled like tomato soup and was wearing a Star Trek outfit. He said he and the other kid were best friends, and that no one else at Babson really understood them except for OCL. He commented on how cool OCL’s events were, like make-your-own-abstinence-poster night.

So with that, I was forced to return home defeated. My sad life of having a job, house, and girlfriend waiting for me after graduation, partying, trying to improve the lives of students at Babson, and generally being a big deal was absolutely nothing in comparison. So I think I might have to scrap the non-life I have right now so I can upgrade to a REAL life.

In case you can’t pick up on sarcasm, this is a completely true story. The people discussed are actual people on campus. Every day, Babson administrators rape your pride. They readily give away their integrity over the dumbest, smallest things imaginable and completely miss the big picture. But as if this weren’t bad enough, they really do convince a large portion of the campus population that their brand of rape is good for them and that it’s their own fault they’re getting raped in the first place.

And what do the students say? “They’re just doing their job” is a popular one. “Stop whining.” “Get a life.” “Babson is what you make of it.” You know what I say? Change your name to Forest Gump because you are officially a mongoloid. Many of us at CrapCampus.com have met personally with many administrators in the past over various issues, and continue to do so. The purpose is to make changes at the school. So we’re trying to make the black hole of happiness called Babson a better place. This blog also helps that goal because MOST of the people on campus feel similarly to us, and yet they initially feel like their opinion is the minority. Erroneous. Make your voices heard. And if some prick tells you to get a life or stop whining, it’s because he’s pissed that his life is a piece of crap and he doesn’t have the balls to stand up for himself.

I say question everything. Give Babson an inch, and they’ll take a mile. If you don’t speak out against them, nothing will change. Already since I’ve joined, the number of writers here has more than doubled. Whether due directly, indirectly, or partly to this movement, this year we’ve got an extra pub day on Friday. We now have electronic and physical feedback forms to easily and anonymously voice your opinion to administrators who have to listen. OCL now reports to Dean Hanno, who is actually a great person to get ahold of if you’re having issues with various departments around campus because he will actually get things done that benefit the big picture. We have a person in SGA that we fully support and that will now have another great medium for getting positive changes made around campus.

So for all the people that want to criticize what we’re doing, eat shit. We’ve made more changes at Babson in a year than you will make in the entire world with your entire pathetic lives. So put that in a bowl with some milk and think twice next time you feel we need to “get a life” and “stop whining.”

VP of Finance

This one is really a toss up but I put my money on Eric Shahinian.  Why?  The guy is really the least tool-like looking of the two guys and as for Sabrina, sorry, not that I know you either, but I really just don’t see anything worth supporting.  Its just politics.

Eric wants a budget expansion.  I’m all about that.

VP of Commerce

Whoever this is needs to do whatever the fuck it takes to get a fuckin 24 mini mart style store to be student run and also allowed to cell some fuckin ciggarettes too.  IT WOULD BE A FUCKING DIAMOND MINE in terms of revenue generation.  For fucks sake.  My fucking reccomendation goes to Erin Connery.  Though he lived down the hall and he was a messy fucker, he didn’t bitch about me being a smoker.  Props broseph.

Now somebody, I don’t care who, get me my fuckin minimart, BEFORE 2008.  I kinda do want to see how much ole’ Barefoot will swing with now.  Not that I would test the guy or anything…

VP of Communications

No freshmen, go with Mikaela.  She’s also accessible from within my CrapCampus Network so she is definitely someone we could communicate with.

VP of Campus Activities (things are starting to sound important…)

Jesse Morris.  Thats it.  He says it for himself and I likes the way he says it.  “I plan to take large strides in the social atmosphere of this campus, with diverse and plentiful attendances to all of our events and activities. I want to see a change happen on this campus. I want to see the pulse of life relax.”  This is also someone who has been much more socially visible at partys and other functions.  Not that I know him, but I’ve definitely seen him around a lot more than his competitor Robin.

Go with Jesse, he’ll at least acknowledge Babson needs to change.

Executive VP

If everyone knew Caroline Gaulin as well as us here at O-Tower and my male and female friends at Babson Rugby, then there wouldn’t even be a competition.  This girl definitely wants to actively work towards the improvement of this campus.  I personally plan on using her as one of the strongest campus voices to be heard.  Caroline’s voice for the student body and campus life is second to only one.

That one person more reachable, sympathetic, and more capable would of course be my vote for president.  So make sure you vote Caroline to give him the powerful staff he needs, because I think it could be a landslide for the top seat of power.

THE PRESIDENT

NO BULLSHITTING AROUND HERE.  I WILL PULL NO PUNCHES ON CALLING PEOPLE OUT!

one by one, I’m running these bitches down like a fuckin mack truck.

First Victim – Luilly Andrade

You don’t party here man.  Do you even live here?  I’ve hardly seen you up until you started putting up campaign signs.  YOU’RE NOT IN THE PUBLIC EYE ENOUGH.  I don’t know you, so I don’t care.  You’re online ballot statement is so weak!  Honestly, who here gives a fuck about the DUCK TOURS?!  Nice try son, but I can’t even say your name much less bump into you to see what you’re really like.  Honestly, by looking at you in the picture you submitted and the bits I’ve seen you around campus, you may be too BISO to take this spot.  Let someone older than you take this, they probably have a better understanding at what to do.

NEXXXXXXXXTTT Victim  – Betty Chen

You have all those plans… for a year?  Get focused because we will soon realize how useless your so called administrative ties are.  I’d like to hear from your victims while you were an RA because I know you think that this social scene is already outta hand.  And furthermore, nowhere do you address the issues of community here.  The least you say is that you’ll provide an online discussion board.  Let me tell you something, neither faculty or students use these other than for a mandatory class tool.  We have enough trouble getting people here where they are actually allowed to speak freely through anonymity!

I sincerely hope that no one even votes for her.  Yeah she’s an overachiever, but she don’t know shit for whats important to governing this student body.

Hit the brakes now, we have a winner.
DAVE YARUS FOR PRESIDENT!

Dave, I’m sorry I haven’t gotten that write up for college party, but I might actually start it after I finish this.  Anyways, obviously dave and crapcampus are in close communication with dave as he is one of the only people in my time here in Babson that has done such a fantastic job at actually making the social life just a tick better.  Even if its just with his presence at your party with a camera, Dave knows how to throw shit down.

I assure you all.  You can trust that Dave can do what he says, and he will definitely make an impact on the social atmosphere and fun factor, especially with the new incoming president.  Dave is charismatic and also one persuasive ass son of a bitch.  He’s also well experienced in the issues that matter to us.  So vote Dave Yarus.  PLEEEEASSSSEEEE!

Now to be nice I’ll say good luck to you all and don’t get hurt if you don’t win.  And if you get hurt by what I’ve said here, then come here and I’ll give you a hug and let you cry on my shoulder but in all honesty, grow up.  Its only politics. To my fellow writers, post your support or suggestions in the comments.

Looking forward to Marathon Monday,
Reverend Esby

1. There is a problem with transferring credits Every time I walk by Academic Services I see at least one lonely individual come out with their degree checklists, continiously dissapointed because Babson will not grant them the credits from classes they have taken. Recently, I received an email saying that magically 4 of my Advanced Liberal Art Credits had dissappeared for a class that I took at another school with the permission of the Head of the Liberal Arts Department, A&H errrr something…….

BABSON, I want my damn degree –

2. Babo, Babo, Babo – I will not be able to eat the first month that I graudate because you have ticketed my cars so many times in the past 4 years. Parking in the semi- circle outside of Map Hill does not count as parking in the Fire Lane. Last time I checked, there weren’t any signs. Also, why do you use a laptop while you are parked outside of class and dorm buildings? Who watches those camera’s and does that mean you frequently see people peeing in trash cans? I’d like to thank this time to thank old Olin Babo, you know who you are and you’ve seen me pretty trashed on a regular basis and always call my by my nickname. THANK YOU.

Pz.