Oh, Babson e-mail, how I fucking loathe you. Yet, I can’t stop compulsively checking you….

Before I go address an e-mail I found this morning in my Babson inbox, I would like to offer a solution to the junk that suffocates all Ugrads. Get First Class. Private schools use it, other colleges use it. You can create conferences and seperate announcements to the entire class that people can choose to view. You can also create conferences that are dedicated to CAB or Academic Services so we don’t get bombarded by Babson’s version of spam.

Stop sending me pointless e-mails, like the one below where you describe a senior send off party with bling and condoms. Your telling me that I worked my fucking ass off and your sending me off with a condom and some fake bling?

I’m am LOLing in class. Thank you, Babson.

—–Original Message—–
Sent: Wed 5/2/2007 9:40 AM
Subject: New York New York

Come get your NYC condoms

And Make-Your-Own Bling!

Who: All Ugrads

What: Senior Send-Off Party

When: Thursday, May 3rd

9 P.M. – Midnight

Where: Knight

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Have you ever had a moment where you find yourself in A&H and in order to make a connection to a class of young students, a Liberal Arts professor tries to use business lingo and it just ends up being awkward and having nothing to really do with anything?

I have. Trust me, stick to literature.

I don’t like mixing Liberal Arts with Business, that is what OB/TOM is supposed to do, incorporate people with business, but the students have such a poor attitude towards the course that most of us fail to realize the importance of OB/TOM. Yes students, I said the IMPORTANCE of OB/TOM, and no, I wasn’t wasted when I wrote this. I think a lot of this is due to the fact that the course not only ends before the semester is over but is only 2 credits. OB/TOM is a practice of what really happens in the work place w/ people, not just balance and income statements…Babson students don’t graduate to work with other entrepreneurs just like them, we are thrown into the mix of Emerson, Harvard, UMASS, Darthmouth MassBay, Wellesley, Bentley etc. (and those are just limited to our region) and we do not all think alike and crave to achieve the bottom line so classes like OB/TOM, as ridiculous as they seem clue is into the fact that the workplace is indeed DIVERSE!

And if the faculty is listening, I propose that we change part of the curriculum, especially for transfers because I came to Babson literate, and after transferring and having to revert to Freshman courses during my Sophomore year, I found Rhetoric B far more redundant than useful. On top of that, somehow I was allowed by my advisor to take H&S, A&H, and Rhetoric A at the same time on top of a Law Elective, MOB and QTM Honors (b/c it fit in my schedule and yes…I got an A in Calc but Minitab is a whole other world to me, SHOUT-OUT to my lab partner who literally carried me on his back throughout the semester, I owe part of my Babson degree to you, kid! RESPECT! U.N.I.T.Y.)…I had no idea what a tremendously suffocating workload that would be. Office of Academic Services, help me out. And yes, I did go to your advising hours. Being a transfer sucked, no one wants to be a Freshman twice.

If you are saying to yourself, “why is this girl bitching again…” here are some suggestions for the curriculum. Let Professor Philips continue to do his thing b/c he’s the shit ( that means AMAZING for the faculty and staff that read this) BUT..as for E-tech, Environmental Tech, etc., replace all that crap that we already learned in Physical Science in 7th grade with something usefull like a required Web-tech class or ENGINEERING! Partner with Olin? Integrate?

Look at the market Babson, the lattest trend has been CONNECTIVITY. And yes, I do realize that you have cross-registration but not everyone has the means to commute to other schools. Also, please look into consolidating your Foundation Liberal Arts. I would also like to out Professor Goldberg at this moment for another outstanding job with our Liberal Arts program for any underclassmen reading this and looking for Advanced Liberal Art Classes that will change your life. I am very thankful that I transferred in most of my Liberal Arts Curriculum, I think Babson has the opportunity to strengthen their curriculum here.
This blog is how is also how I plan to help, I can’t really do anything else during the day b/c if I miss more than 2 classes due to Babson’s attendance policy, my grades will go gown a partial letter grade. I did obsess about grades before Babson, as I believe all of us did at one point, but BABSON - WEIGHING DOWN OUR G.P.A. is not cool - check out Harvard, they give out A’s and B’s like free condoms from Health Services.
And if you are then asking, what else do I do in my time? I work so I can afford to not eat at Trim. Warning, the next comment is not for the faint-hearted. I don’t understand how Trim gives me the shits everytime I go. Anyone agree or disagree? I would love the community’s feedback.

And for all that have told me, “you don’t know what Babson unless you went through FME,” ONE BABSON BITCHES, transfers are people too.

2007, Love.

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I wanted to say a few things:

Merry Fucking Christmas.
Santa, where are you and where the fuck is my video iPod and PS3?
And lastly what up to all my homies with dreidels. Mazel Tov.

I wrote to college campus because I have been seeing two away messages that capture Babson. The messages are, “Here’s to you stressed out college kid during finals week stuck in your little cubical doped up on aderal and a Starbucks….” and F.uck I N.ever L.earned T.his S.hit = Finals? On point!!!!

Babson drives you crazy during finals because of the following.

1. YOU WERE DUMB ENOUGH TO TAKE AWAY THE 24 HR. LAB. This was our home, Babson. I remember, when I was a Sophomore into my 3rd day that I was awake with my first 15 pager due. I had a Busch Light and my books scattered in the 24 hr. lab. People poured in and out, working on each others frantic energy. It was beautiful. It is what made this school a college. We loved it. Everyone pour one for the 24 hr. lab and always remember smoke mat stoggs right by the entrance so that everyone who walks by can also take it to the lung.

2. TWO DAY READING PERIODS ARE WEAK. If you really want to foster the best performance give us enough time to get belligerent and then study. We need at least 6 days. 3 1/2 days for drinking, 2 days for recovery, then the 5th for cramming. Let’s be honest, most of us pretend we are studying. We sit with our books at Babson parties that are groups of 2+ students who are both on labtops but still able to claim that they are hanging out with each other. My point being, we really get nothing done till it’s crunch time. Two days are weak.

3. GRADES ARE IRRELEVANT. I got my first Babson A this semester. Finally, I was not being judged by this bureaucratic attendance policy but evaluated based on academic exchanges and the passion that I felt for business. Umm, there was a little bullshit but to the credit of the Professor, he was dope. I really never liked going to class here. Listen kids, if you haven’t gotten a D that stands for degree, passed to the right, played ruit, downed a shot of henessy, jack, or tequila, YOU HAVEN’T LIVED. Grades are not a reflection of intellectual capacity or strength at Babson. They are a reflection of how well you can say exactly what the Professor wants to hear. I am not going to lie, it is a valuable skill, you are going to need it for the work place but damnit Babson, I can’t be doing this all the time! Damn the man.

4. IME NEVER WORKED. Ok, I am a Senior and I have already been through hell. HINT-HINT - I had a female Prof. who taught accounting and the experience was a mix of boredom, slow death, and irony. IME takes SO much out of you, you despise the people that you work with and you neglect the fact that you are supposed to be starting your own business. All these meetings consume your life and all of the sudden your getting blackout drunk through the entire weekend just to cope. You loose time, GDP plummets, Google sinks, the Democrats take over which means the terrorist win and we are all damned to hell.

I’m a senior and this it what I have learned at Babson.

1. COPY EVERYTHING. If you want to start a business, copy someone. Take their idea, but make it better. Acquire a patent so you can stifle competition.

2. OUTSOURCE!!!!!! Outsource dating to a frat, sorority, or sports team. Outsource your knowledge. Why would you ever read if you could get someone else’s cheat sheet and exam from last semester? There’s no point in listening and have someone else in the group do it. Choose the part of the group project that’s focused on the people. Be careful not to choose marketing, because at first it seems easy, but then you have to remember how to use minitab. And never forget what Babson teaches you. It’s cheaper overseas.

4. THE OFFICE OF ACADEMIC SERVICES/ CLASS DEANS IS USELESS. No further comment.

5. MAKE SURE TO HOOK UP DURING FINALS PERIOD WITH A LOVED/LUSTED ONE DURING THIS CRAZY ASS TIME. There’s nothing better than angry sex that’s executed well, take advantage of the stress. Or if you are not getting laid by someone else and getting off is just not the same, hit the Webster center. Working out is a great way to relieve stress.

Well…now it’s time to say good-bye.
If you got through this entire blurb, congrats.

Go grab a beer.
Go finish a paper.
Go download some porn.

Night, Lady Mota

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